I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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