Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
