I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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