Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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