I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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