Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
