I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize