This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
