My girlfriend figured out who you are.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
