another moral hangover. fuck.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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