Small penises have feelings too.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
