sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
