Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
