Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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