Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
