Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
