Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
