Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Did you just see the Batmobile???
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
