You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
