I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
40s are totally the cure
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize