fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
