I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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