I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
