He told me they were just razor bumps!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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