Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
