Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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