Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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