God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
