I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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