Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
