I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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