i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
