Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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