I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
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I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
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Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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