i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
