I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
