I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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