do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize