somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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