he thought i was a dude.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
