Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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