Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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