Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
