Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
