i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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