He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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