I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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