Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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