how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you win again, gameday.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
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