Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
