I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
These tits shall not be calmed
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
