if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm having to shit out rocks
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
