saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you would pick up someone in the library
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
