Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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