Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is Oprah even human
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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