Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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