i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
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I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
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Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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